The Opossum

     The first few days in the cast and shoulder harness I  found the simple ordinary things a person does were very difficult. I didn't have much trouble braking an egg into the frying pan, but when I went to flip it over, I flipped it onto the floor.  Solomon wouldn't lick it up, he's not partial to eggs like some cats are.  I cleaned it up and tried again.  I couldn't use a can opener, that takes two hands one to hold the can the other to turn the handle so I made sure all my cans had a pull type lid.  I got pretty good at using my left hand, even down to writing my name was almost as good as my right hand.

     Well, one night I woke up about 3:30 a.m. and had to go to the bathroom. So I took a magazine and sat down. Solomon sat in the doorway waiting for me. Since I live alone, I always leave the bathroom door open. 

     I read the whole magazine. I guess I had been sitting there for 20 or 30 minutes. I threw the magazine onto a stack of magazines on the right side of the commode.  I replaced the toilet paper on the floor on the left side.  I stood up and was pulling my pajamas up when I heard this hissing sound.  I looked down. Good Night Almighty!  There was a full set of gleaming teeth, and eyes glaring up at me,  the monster of the night an opossum.

     I kicked the cat out of the doorway and slammed the door trying to finish pulling up my pajamas with my left hand and running down the hall at the same time.

     Solomon ran back to the bathroom door and was scratching on the door trying to get at the opossum and I thought I could hear the opossum scratching on the bathroom door trying to get out.  I turned on all the lights, sat in my recliner and watched down the hall until dawn.  The I called my landlord.  He said he would be right over.

    I know if I'd seen that thing when I was dropping my pajamas down there would have been a nasty trail all the way to my truck.

     My landlord only lived about a mile away and he was there in about 10 minutes.  He brought a bushel basket with a lid.  He was going to capture it and turn it loose back in the woods.  But, when he opened the bathroom door, it was GONE!

     There was a small hole where the water line comes into the bathroom and the opossum must have gotten in through it and escaped the same way.  The landlord said he would come back later in the day to fix the hole.

     I told him I wouldn't be there, Sally was coming to take me to the doctor for a check up and then we were going grocery shopping.  But I wouldn't mind if he FIXED  the hole while I was gone.

     Sally picked me up and I told her about the opossum.  She couldn't stop   laughing.  We went to the doctors.  He said my shoulder was mending well and set up physical therapy. We got my groceries then had a burger at  McDonald's.  It was late when we got back home.

     I checked the hole.  No, he hadn't fixed it. So, I found another good use for the famous silver duct tape. I taped that hole from here to next week, really closing it up good. It didn't look very good, I didn't really care.  All I wanted was for the hole to be closed.  An ant couldn't even get in now.

     Patrick called to check on me and I told him about the opossum. He suggested I load the shot gun, and since I couldn't aim it, shoot from the hip.  Now I pictured myself with a fractured hip or worse, maybe shooting my foot.

     I assured him all the holes were closed.

     I now leave all the lights on when I go to bed, and Solomon visits the bathroom frequently.